: Today on Young and Restless, Mariah struggles with her next move, Amy pushes Audra to work on herself, and Sally vents to Audra.

Read the last Y&R recap: Victoria ratted Cane out to his kids, Billy accepted Cane’s offer, and Victor called Jill for help.

(This day ahead recap episode airs in the USA on January 23. Expect spoilers! Recaps go live by 4:15 PM EST daily.)

Mariah is in the red door motel missing her daughter and Tessa.

She could go back and hold Aria again and beg her wife for forgiveness… but she doesn’t deserve any of it.

She’s terrible and destroys all she touches. The darkness in her soul won’t go away.

Everyone would see through her. The person they loved was not the real her.

The second she let her guard down, everything would collapse.

She doddles Dominic’s name

Pacing, she wonders if she should go ahead with her plan and then makes a call.

She says everyone thinks he’s cool. He thinks she’s cool too.

He stares as she talks about hot cocoa. An unknown caller calls and hangs up.

Back in the motel, “Ian” asks Mariah why she made the call and hung up.

She complains that he’s always “on” her and he says he’s just her guide in the dark.

He urges her not to be ashamed or afraid. She’s not sure she needs “to do this” at all.

He says the time is now and he is there to make sure she stays with the plan.

They remember how she gave birth to Dominic. She flashes back to Abby and Devon being by her side.

Ian tells her she delivered the child. Mariah snaps that it’s over and she’s not going through with this.

He knows it may make no sense right now, but he promises life will be better on the other side of this.

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Audra is thrilled to bump into Amy at Crimson Lights and tries to make small talk. That doesn’t go well.

Amy assures her she’s fine. Audra misses her and she regrets how she’s messed up. Is there any way Amy could forgive her?

Audra says that she felt like she didn’t own her own soul because she was under other people’s thumbs

She’s paid the price for making her mistake. She had to get burned to learn not to play with fire.

Amy misses her and the trust they had. She chose to stay away from her because she didn’t need more grief.

Audra says she would give anything to get Nate to forgive her.

Holden pops up and asks if they are friends together. He asks after Amy and reminds her he loved her son like a brother After he walks off, Amy senses Audra couldn’t wait for him to leave. She demands to know what their connection is.

When Audra claims he just looked out for her at a bar in LA, Amy accuses her of brazen lying.

She’s sure Audra wishes things were better, but she needs to do the work on herself to fix things.

If she wants forgiveness, she needs to earn it. Amy stomps out.

Holden returns to say it was nice of Amy to talk to her after what she did.

They bicker about Amy and Holden wonders if she’s unloading her excess snark on him since she can’t attack Claire.

Audra assumes that Claire is protecting the Newman gold.

As they bicker, Sally shows up and Holden escapes.

They head to the patio and Sally asks for an explanation. Audra doesn’t give one and changes the subject to her.

Sally explains Billy is doing something she can’t support. He’s going to let her down again and it will be the last time.

Audra is appalled to hear Billy is going to take Cane up on his offer.

Spectra is upset that he even wants to say yes. Audra holds her hand and tells her she has a big choice to make.

Sally explains she needs to convince Jill to let her bring Audra on board. Audra says she’ll be saving her life.

Amy joins Nate at Society. After complaining about the cold, she tells him about how hard it was to see Audra.

They had a real bond but she broke that and is feeling the loss.

Nate hopes she wasn’t working her for sympathy. Amy told her she has work to do but doesn’t know if she understood.

Part of her wnats to cut her a break, but she’s gotta learn.

She asks if he could ever forgive Audra. He can’t see it and he’s not looking for romanceAmy wants to see him happy again. She admits that part of her wants to try with Audra again.

She’s sure that if he could let the anger go, he could have the love back. Damian taught them that.

Back in the park, Devon and Abby take Dominic to the café for his fresh kringle.

Next week on Y&R!

“Dad wants to use Lily and Mattie and Charlie, as leverage against Cane,” Adam explains

“He’s not going to kidnap Lily and the twins, is he?” Chelsea asks.

“You called my mother to tell her that I’m potentially leaving the company. Don’t you think that’s a conversation I would have like to have with my mother?” Billy asks

“Well, I didn’t actually speak with your mother. I spoke with your uncle, Snapper. Billy, he said that Jill has taken a turn for the worse,” Sally explains.